Gave Way to Light
by FlamingRedBird
Summary: Mark overhears and argument between Roger and Mimi, and Mark's left to pick up the pieces. Slight MR, one-shot, possibly more to come. Rated because of language.
1. Shadows and Fights

AN: Holy Mother of All Things Holy! I'm actually writing something! How long has it been? Two years? Good grief I'm a disaster. Well, this is a completely different fandom than what I'm used to, so be kind since this is my first RENT fanfic. It's going to bring in some feels, that was my goal, so yeah, it's meant to sting a little in certain parts. Hope you guys like it. Reviews are always welcomed, and I love meeting new people. This is rated the way it is because Mark, Roger, and Mimi all have potty mouths, and it's RENT, nuff said. I guess it could be Mark/Roger if you squint, but only more chapters (if enough review are received) will tell.

Mark walked into the loft, feeling a small amount of warm air hit him. '_Benny must have turned the heat on a tiny bit, good enough to live in'_. Mark always knew that Benny was still good at heart, even if he rarely showed it, and they tried to keep in contact with each other, but it was difficult with Roger being home most of the time now. After withdrawal ended, Roger was very secluded. He was mostly brooding on the small table in the Loft playing Muestta's Waltz, or he was cooped up in his room claiming to be "Writing a new song". Mark quietly closed the Loft door, placed his bike off to the side in its usual place, and was in the process of hanging up his coat when he heard Roger's voice.

"Mimi, these aren't good for you, you need to get of them! Look what they're doing to you!" At this Mark heard Roger trying to keep his cool. "Look what they did to me." That brought back painful memories, memories that Mark would rather forget most of the time. It brought back the shaking, the tears, the holding, the comforting, the betrayal, the angst, the brooding, and the worst one, the disease. Mark quietly sat down on the couch, listening in on the conversation, trying to put together all the bits and pieces of what he was hearing.

"I don't care Roger! I'm already fucking dying, what is a little more gonna do for me, huh?" Mimi sounded pissed, she must not have had a hit in a few hours, and Mark could hear the need in her voice. "No day but today, Roger, live a little, die a little. What's the point anymore?" That was a bit harsh in Mark's mind, but he sat still on the couch, resisting the urge to record this for the future. Mark knew that if he recorded this and Roger found it, he'd be dead meat.

"You know what Mimi?" Roger's voice was filled with calm venom. Mark hadn't heard Roger this angry since night one of no drugs. "Maybe you should just go. I don't want to go back to drugs, and I don't want to see someone I love using something that's killing them slowly from the inside out." Mark had to admit, Roger did always have a way with words, and that was pretty well put.

"I guess I will then! I'll go find someone who's more fun and willing to be fucking free from this world!" Mimi sounded on the verge of tears. Mark closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, this was worse than most of their fights. This one sounded like it was a permanent breakup, and Mark knew all too well that Roger wouldn't take it very well. "I don't need you, I'll go back to fucking Benny every night! I don't care if he's married, I'm dying anyways!" Mark knew that Mimi was now just trying to get some kind of reaction from Roger, anything to piss him off even more. Mark silently prayed that Roger wouldn't take the bait.

"Go ahead, see if I fucking care! Go be his whore, see if I care! But don't come crawling back because his wife kicks you both out!" Roger took some of the bait, not all, but enough for Mimi to have some leverage over him in her case. "I don't want to see you anymore, Mimi, I don't want to deal with your drugs, your job, and you hair in the moonlight. Take all your stuff now and just go." Roger spit out the last part as if it were poison on his tongue. Mark noticed what sounded like boxes being moved around. Mark then proceeded to get up and walk to his room, he didn't need either of them knowing that he heard the whole conversation. It was their fight, not his.

"I hope you're happy with this decision Roger, cause I'm not coming back. If I do, it'll be over my dead body." Mark was at the door to his room when he heard Mimi say that. He shook his head, '_Defiantly the worst fight yet, and ever. God, what the hell happened in the two hours I was out filming, I leave the Loft to them happily cuddling on the couch, and come back to them fighting over Mimi's drug habits,'. _Mark closed his door quietly and sat down on his bed. He didn't really want to deal with Roger in the morning, but needed to. It was what he did for his friend, for their friendship. But that word made Mark pause his thoughts. '_Are we friends? Yes, duh, that much is obvious. But best friends, I guess we're as close as friends can get. We're more like brothers, although all our other friends tease us by calling us "lovers" even though we're both straight. God, why is everything crashing down now? It was all built up so perfectly, stacked like a house of cards, but now it's been blown over and I'm left to pick up the pieces. Well, Angel can help Mimi, but I have my own mess to take care of. My own? Roger isn't mine, and I'm not his, why am I so possessive all of a sudden? It's their breakup, that's got to be it. I just don't want to see him hurt because he's my friend,'_

Mark was laying in his bed thinking to himself for about an hour before he heard a knock on his door. He quickly got up and opened it and let Roger in. Roger looked like a mess. His eyes were red, and he had dried tear stains on his face. '_He's really taking it hard. He hasn't been this bad since April died. Maybe this is how he gets after all his breakups? No, Mimi and April are different.'_. Roger sat down on Mark's bed, and Mark sat down next to him. Roger immediately placed his head on Mark's should and started shaking. Mark figured that is he had any tears left, they would be all over his sweater. Mark wrapped his arms around his shaking best friend, and pulled him in for a gentle hug.

"Shhh, it's ok Roger, you'll be fine." Mark was whispering calming words to his friend. He was trying to keep him under control, trying to keep him from doing anything stupid that would result in making matters worse. He felt bad for Roger, he knew that what he and Mimi had was special, was probably even love. But Roger had thrown that away. No, Mimi threw it away. God, Mark didn't even know who did what. Mark figured he'd let Roger explain it when he was ready. He normally explained what went wrong with a fight within 2 days of the actual break-up.

"I-I really d-did t-try Mark. I-I r-really fucking t-tried." Roger stammered out, he was sobbing again, it was getting slightly out of control. "I t-tried s-so fucking h-hard to g-get her o-off the f-fucking drugs. I t-tried so d-damn hard, b-but she d-didn't g-give a s-shit." Roger was gripping tightly at Mark now, holding on to him as if he were a dream and if he weren't careful, he'd slip away. That was the last thing Roger needed right now. He knew deep down that it was silly of him to think that Mark would leave him, especially in his time of need, but it was always there in the back of his mind. Roger needed a rock right now, and Mark was trying his best to be strong for his friend.

"Shhh, do you want anything to drink, some water maybe?" Mark was trying to be comforting, trying to help his best friend through this emotional rollercoaster. Roger grabbed at his shirt even more, holding Mark in place. That was all Mark needed to know that Roger was too broken to be left alone right now. Mark placed his hand on Roger's back, rubbing careful circles to calm him.

Thirty minutes later and Roger was no longer shaking. Roger was trying his best to steady his breathing, to keep calm. He was still leaning on Mark, he was still wrapped up in Mark's warm embrace. Carefully, Roger looked up at the filmmaker with the look of a young child in his eyes. Mark carefully laid him down in his bed before joining him in it. Roger immediately curled up into Mark's side and almost instantly fell asleep.

Mark felt that Roger's breathing was even, and he was now asleep. Mark couldn't sleep just yet though, he still needed to process his thoughts. All of these different possibilities swarmed in his head, mixing together, and all Mark wanted to do was sort them back out. Roger, his best friend since high school, was laying in his bed curled up next to him. Roger was recovering from his latest breakup with Mimi, which is probably their last breakup, either they'll get back together and be stronger than before, or they'll stay apart. Mark hoped that they would get back together, Mimi always made Roger happy, and Mark liked to see his best friend happy. Mark was, and always will be, a sucker for happy endings. Although Mark knows that in reality there are no such things as "happy endings", only real endings. Endings that are rough, hard, and bumpy. Endings that take forever to recover from.

Mark used to believe that life was sunshine a rainbows, but that was before he found out that Roger was HIV+. That was before he found April dead in the bathtub. That was before je found out that Maureen was cheating on him with a woman. Yeah, Mark has had a rough life since he moved to Alphabet City, but as he looks over at the sleeping body next to him, he realizes that he wouldn't trade it for any fairy tale ending anyone could offer. Mark carefully ran his hand through Roger's long, shaggy hair, brushing the tousled strands out of the rocker's face. Unconsciously, Roger leaned into the touch, a small smile on his face.

'_Could this be more than friendship? Could this be more than brotherly love_?' Mark may never find those answers, but he's content with whatever the hell he and Roger have now. And Mark realizes that for once that shadows have gave way to light, and for once, he's ready for whatever the morning will bring.


	2. Sunrises and Talks

Mark awoke then next morning curled up around a pillow. He stretched out gently, then remembered what had happened. Things had gone pretty badly last night. He remembered Roger fighting with Mimi, Mimi storming out of the loft, Roger crying in his arms, and the two of them falling asleep together in his bed.

That was when Mark realized Roger wasn't in bed.

He looked around the room a little frantically, then decided to get up. After putting on a new shirt and pants, he headed out into their so called "living room". He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Roger sitting on the window sill staring out over the city watching the sunrise. That was when Mark become a little more worried.

Roger was never a morning person, so it wasn't like him to get up early. And most of the time Mark was the one to wake him up because he was too lazy to get out of bed. Mark was also a really light sleeper, so how Roger had managed to get up at sunrise and not wake him is a big mystery.

Mark walked over to the window and sat down next to his friend. He studied his face for a moment before speaking. "Hey, how are you feeling?" It was filled with concern, genuine concern that the two really only shared with each other.

Roger didn't change his position, nor move his head. Instead he just shrugged slightly and mumbled, "I'm fine". Mark didn't buy it, and he knew Roger knew he didn't buy it. Mark had a feeling he already knew where this conversation was going. He wanted to press deeper, get Roger to open up because he knew it made him feel better. But he also knew that this break-up was harder on him.

Mark started to move to get up off the sill, but Roger's hand on his knee stopped him from moving. He looked at Roger and raised an eyebrow, but stayed sitting down.

"I think," Roger took a deep, steadying breath. "I think we're done for good." Mark knew immediately that he was talking about him and Mimi. Mark understood why he thought that, the part of the fight he overheard was pretty bad, but at the same time he hated Mimi. He hated Mimi for just breaking Roger and leaving him for Mark to fix. April did the same thing.

That was still hard to swallow. The fact that April waltzed into their lives, introduced Roger to drugs, gave him his death sentence, then took the easy way out and killed herself. Not that Mimi was as bad, but Mark didn't like trying to fix the "Roger Puzzle" as he sometimes called it. And what's worse is that this time he has to fix Roger on his own with no Collins to help him.

But Mark nodded his head in response to Roger, urging him to possibly keep going. Mark liked it when Roger was open, because then Roger was happy. And that's when Roger said the strangest thing, this one sentence that Mark is sure to never forget.

"I want to kiss you right now, but at the same time I don't. I don't want you to think that I'm just using you to get over Mimi. That's not what I'm thinking at all, but," He let out a sigh. "I never really what you're thinking Mark. I can never read you like you read me. So that's why I'm going to live with Collins for a little while, clear my head for a little bit. I need some kind of break from this dingy old loft." And with that, Roger got up and left to his room.

Mark wasn't sure how to react at first. He just kind of sat there, staring in disbelief at the closed door of his friend's room. Little did he know that Roger was leaning against that closed door mentally cursing himself for saying that. He didn't know how to let Mark know that he didn't really mean it, but at the same time he really did want to run off and forget about his problems. That's just how he copped with things, he ran.

Mark took a deep breath before walking to Roger's door, he held his hand up to the door, but didn't knock. He couldn't bring himself to. He understood why Roger needed space, that words he dropped were like a bombshell to Mark, but at the same time they made sense. Mark lightly tapped the door, and Roger gently opened it.

Mark took a deep, shaky breath before speaking. "Look Roger, I understand that you need some space. This break-up seems worse than any of your others, and I get how you're feeling. I've recently been thinking, and if you need space, go ahead." He offered Roger an apologetic smile.

"Look Mark, I don't know if I really want to leave. I just," He looked down at the floor. "Things between Mimi and I have been rough lately, and now that we're done for good, I want to move on. I realize last night that maybe the one I that I really want had been right in front of my eyes all along. But I feel that if I do something now, everything will come crashing down. That's why I said I wanted to stay with Collins for a little while, that way I could gather my thoughts."

Mark nodded. "I'm going back to bed, let me know when you've made up your mind." It wasn't bitter, sarcastic, or rude. Just a remark. And it was true, Mark was tired, and he did want Roger to let him know what he decided.

Roger almost asked if he could just lay with Mark. Almost…


End file.
